Liberated/Redeemed

Liberated I feel after letting go
how long could i hold on to regret and woe.
I know the time has come to cut loose the noose
I need to let go off the agony and the brutal bruise
I need to break free from the pain and agony.

I need to walk beyond the yesteryears
to break away from the shackles of the past
to clear away the cobwebs of memories.
I need to fill my soul with the warmth of the sun
to thaw away the coldness and fight away the numbness.
I need to bring back feelings to lighten up my life
I want the colours to blossom and the spring to clean my mind.
I need the morning freshness and the joy back in my life
I have to be a fighter and not a coward in disguise.

I lost a lot to thinking and shouldering all the blame
the burden was too heavy for me to sustain.
I started sinking under the weight of my loss
never once did i try to blame anyone at all.

Some came and made it wonderful
Some made me hurt like hell
Some made me feel like i was the worst person in the whole wide world.
But, I am liberated off the burdens and have no one to blame
I have just forgiven one and all because i cannot be them and they cannot be me.
We all are different people caught up in our own regimes.

When the heart is full of darkness and you have no way to walk
your inner spirit leaves you and you walk about lost.
You lose yourself to self doubt, and feel your journey has come to an end.
But, somewhere deep within, you know you haven't reached your goals as yet.
You know you have lost it all, but you cling on to that one last straw with all your might.
You know deep down within your heart that this last straw may bring some respite.
This for sure is the toughest time of ones life.
But you have got to hold on tight, because around the corner is the shining light, it will guide you to a new day and a new way,
That is when you know for sure that you have been redeemed.

How often have you lied? How often have your lies cost you everything or next to everything in your life? How big a crime is it to lie? Sometimes, don't you wish for something with all you have? And, when that wish of yours is granted what do you do? Sometimes when you have what you wished for and you fear you will lose it, Will you lie out of that fear so that you do not lose your precious belonging? Lying is that you are keeping the truth from someone...Have you never lied? Will you never lie? Are you always honest? Do you think it is fair to look into the reason, the very reason a person lied? The intention of the person does it not matter? How heavily will you punish someone if you find out you have been lied to? What will you do if you lied and what will you do if someone else lied to you? Will you turn your back towards someone you hold near and dear because that person lied to you? Does a lie end a relationship? Should you hold up the other person for the lie without considering the circumstances?


If you havent lied ever, be hated to be lied to...
If you havent tried ever, then spurn the other person for trying...
If you havent wished and hoped for something, then look down upon someone who did...
If someone gives you importance so much of importance that he/she forgets about ones own existence do you think it is worth giving this someone a chance?
If someone has loved you will all his/her heart and soul is a lie good enough to break away all ties?
Is a lie a reason good enough to punish someone to such an extent that the person isn't able to come out of it ever?


Questions I have been battling with for sometime now...They keep coming back to me every now and then...The trumoil doesnt seem to stop...My head is a boiling pot...mixes of all kinds, flavors of various thoughts, essence of various ideas, and recipes of various doubts are present all the time...The mind refuses to cool down...

Random Shayari...

Zindagi mein gham aur bhi hai mohabbat ke siwa...
Humain toh raas na ayi, na sahi, usko woh sab mile jiski usne tamanna ki hai.
Waqt na tha tera, na hi mera
Soch ke hasil toh humne kuch kabhi kiya nahi hai
Zindagi mein thokar kha kha kar sambhle hain
Doosro ko sambhalain yeh hi karna accha hoga
Tu aur tera gham, main aur mera gham saathi hain, humdard hain, aur humsafar bhi
Aa mil baant ke gham kuch halke kar lain
Chalna toh tujhe bhi hai mujhe bhi...

Questions!!!

This is a part of my post written earlier. Was reading through my old posts and this particular bit from an old post struck me. I am re-posting the text with a few additions to the original piece:

"True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will Not be."
Of course i do agree with what has been written in the sentence above. True love is to accept the other person as he/she is, accept the other person for what he/she is, accept the persons past, mistakes, and blunders. What really matters is that person and you, your present with him/her, and your future with him/her. But, how easy is it to accept that will NOT be? When you know that the person you love will never be yours how easy is it to accept the fact? When you know the person you have loved the most in your life will leave never to return. Can you avoid the heartbreak and the heartache? If it is best to let go, then why is it the most painful thing to do? When love is accepting what will Not be why is it the hardest thing to do? Not that life stops, it doesn't we all have learned our lessons of moving on, but that moment you have to move on is the longest and heartrending.

Sometimes you DO NOT want to let go, you DO NOT want to accept that which will NOT be. You want to hold on with all your might like you are fighting for your life. It is said that if you really really want something very badly keep trying and you will get it. But, you know no matter how hard you try things will not go the way you want them to.

Isn't hope all that we have, no matter how openly glaring is the truth right in front of our eyes, we shut our eyes and guard them against the glare. We hope that Maybe, Maybe our souls will be saved by the one we love and he/she will be here to stay never to go away...

I guess i am keeping that hope alive somewhere deep down inside, though i know there is no hope at all, but, such is life...

But, today I do not have hopes, I have let go, I know that my hopes have no meaning. These will never be fulfilled. I know that in life you have to keep up the fight, but fight against what and who, someone you love but that person does not want you...
Hahaha! I laugh at my stupidity and my ignorance i mock myself for being such a duck...I hoped against hope for something so bad but no matter what i do it will never be had... I have no more faith, no hope, I have no life left...My soul will not be saved, I am a lost case... :)
Try Try as i may i will not succeed...That is the truth that i need to accept and recede...

Colourless...

I wonder if my life will ever be what i thought it would be...
With the struggles manifold i am growing old
The reasons to live, the zeal to give, everything is lost
Colourless and drab, only full of ash
Darkness complete, with no light to see
Living a misery completing the degree
The degree of life to be gotten at death
My schooling is over with nothing more to read
Life my teacher has abandoned me
Leaving me at a blind curve
I may want to carry on from here
But i choose to wither and perish
Rather than pick up the pieces and stitch them together
I am a loser you must say
A loser to be what I am
I think this will be it
I'v lost my chance...

Cursed

I have been cursed with inevitable bad luck, no matter what i do, infact it's got everything to do with what i have done, did, and do. I don't know why but I have the knack of doing wrong things at the wrong time. These of course always backfire, and recently something changed my entire life. Just when i thought that life has taken a favourable turn and I have reached a point where i couldn't have been happier and was not seeking for anything beyond. Well, pop appears my ill fate and says, "Hey! Wait, You have no right to be happy. I let happiness slip by your way just to take it away from you and make you ever more miserable."
We do a lot of things in life, most things i do are wrong and I haven't been more sure of it like I am today. I am convinced of the fact that I cannot do anything right. But, not too long ago uptil yesterday I had thought that I have done something right in life, the feeling had never been better and so right ever before. Infact, I did do something right for once but whatever wrong i had done in the past took away my present from me. I saw everything I ever had come tumbling and crashing down right in front of me. I stand helplessly watching things break down and do not have the power to make them go back to being right.
I have lost everything I ever had, and I do not seek anything further in my life. I got happiness like I had never been happier before. I think i will live with the feeling that one brief period in my life was all that I could have ever asked for. I will live with the memories, the treasured and precious moments of my life...

Questions Unanswered

"True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be."
I read these lines somewhere and these immediately grabbed my attention. First and foremost what comes to my mind is that how many of us believe we have experienced "True love". Is there any difference in when you love someone and when you truly love someone? Do degrees of love differ from person to person? Can I safely say "I love You" to someone and every syllable uttered has nothing but feelings so full of love that the other person feels the intensity completely? But, these questions were actually secondary, what came to my mind upfront was that if true love is neither physical, nor romantic then why do we always want to feel the presence of the person we love? Why can we do anything to get just a glimpse of that person? Why do we feel out of the world with just one touch of that one special person? Why do we long to hold that persons hand forever, sit side-by-side in complete silence and feel blissful? Why do we want to be with that person all the time and pass days and nights just being with that someone? Why does it feel so good when you know that the other person feels the same way for you? When we know that the other person is in love with us and we love the other person then why do we want that he/she and me come together to be Us?

"True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will Not be."
Of course i do agree with what has been written in the sentence above. True love is to accept the other person as he/she is, accept the other person for what he/she is, accept the persons past, mistakes, and blunders. What really matters is that person and you, your present with him/her, and your future with him/her. But, how easy is it to accept that will NOT be? When you know that the person you love will never be yours how easy is it to accept the fact? When you know the person you have loved the most in your life will leave never to return. Can you avoid the heartbreak and the heartache? If it is best to let go, then why is it the most painful thing to do? When love is accepting what will Not be why is it the hardest thing to do? Not that life stops, it doesn't we all have learned our lessons of moving on, but that moment you have to move on is the longest and heartrending.

Sometimes you DO NOT want to let go, you DO NOT want to accept that which will NOT be. You want to hold on with all your might like you are fighting for your life. It is said that if you really really want something very badly keep trying and you will get it. But, you know no matter how hard you try things will not go the way you want them to.

Isn't hope all that we have, no matter how openly glaring is the truth right in front of our eyes, we shut our eyes and guard them against the glare. We hope that Maybe, Maybe our souls will be saved by the one we love and he/she will be here to stay never to go away...

I guess i am keeping that hope alive somewhere deep down inside, though i know there is no hope at all, but, such is life...

Today!!!

Today, after a long long time i feel like talking and letting it all out. But, something holds me back I have no clue what is it that refuses to let the pent up feelings come out.

Sometimes i am filled with malice for one and all and sometimes i think that i am wrong in holding others accountable for my ill-fate.

Misery Has Taken It's Toll...

The beads of sloemn misery roll
Heartbreak and pain have taken their toll
Once again my hopes soared
The songs of life rose
There was happiness and joy
No reasons to cry
No malice, nothing tragic
The heart danced to the rhythms of life...

But, this was not to last
There was a devil waiting at the bend
My heart tripped and fell, shattered into pieces never to see the daylight again
I sit in silence, the songs have long been sung
The dances are over with the beat
The dusk has set in and the night is falling
Silence speaks to me in it's high piercing tone
Pain wraps it's blanket around me
Hurt embalms my heart
Misery strokes my head...

Where there was life, there is nothing left
The remnants of those happy days can be seen in the empty eyes
Life has long past left my side
Now, all you see is the body
The soul has seized to exist...

Stifled

When the heart is full of sadness, and tears brim up the eyes.
When love is what you are missing, and wishes are what you live by.
When you know you have that someone, but you are still waiting in oblivion, and you feel you are all alone.
It is then you pray that you should learn to live on your own, because the soul hurts and cries and the yearning never dies.
You have nothing to live by and your feelings stifle your heart dry.
the reasons to take you through the hopeless phase seem to die.
It is then that you realize there is nothing more you want to do, but cry.
But, somehow the tears don't leave the eyes and you bleed slowly inside...